[ Okay. Okay. It's a simple question. Sort of. It's a question she would understand, he's sure, whether she actually agrees or not. Only if she doesn't, he's not sure what he's going to do. He can't really think of anyone else he'd like to ask. Maybe Luke? Maybe Luke.
[ There's a moment of silence between them as Kate considers the young man kneeling beside her, every swallow he makes tight from the collar, unable to look at her. She feels for him, because Kate was right there just a couple months ago, ashamed of having to ask for something she hadn't really wanted. ]
Of course. [ She tries to keep her voice even and sweet as she considers each word carefully. ] I'd... I'd like to help you.
I'm not contracted, though. I only have a tent. Is... that okay?
[ As soon as she agrees, some of the tension in his shoulders releases. It had really been eating at him, this uncertainty over how the hell he'd survive this damn camp.
He only nods at first, though the gesture is stiff and barely visible, then he clears his throat. ]
Yeah. It's fine.
[ And, honestly, he's kind of lost his appetite, but he picks his plate back up to at least have something to do. Still not looking at her. ]
Okay. [ It doesn't sound fine, but Kate doesn't push for more. She picks up her plate, too, and shuffles the waffle and cantaloupe chunks around her plate until the silent tension is too heavy to hold up any longer. ]
So. [ She speaks up again to hopefully cut the string of tension. ] Whenever you're ready, we can leave. No rush, though, Cal.
[ It's not, but that has nothing to do with the tent. It'll serve just fine.
He manages to get a few more bites of food in him, but when she speaks again, he decides to just give up. And he definitely drops the plate back down harder than he meant, flinches, and briefly looks around to see if anyone noticed.
Seems the noise of everyone else around drowned it out, though. ]
I can't believe they thought this was okay to do to people.
[ A pause, and he reconsiders. ]
No, scratch that. I wish I could do something about it.
[ He tilts his head back to look up at the ceiling, eyes fastening on one of the lights. It's hopeless, he knows. The Force isn't there. But he still turns a palm up towards the ceiling, and then squeezes to try to pull that light down.
Me, too. [ Though her anger has long cooled down to a simmer over it. It's such an exhausting emotion. ] Before coming here, I wasn't in control of my body, or my mind, or my soul. It was... terrifying, and there was nothing I could do.
[ Only Kisa has any idea, but it's not something Kate ever brings up. There's still so much shame and betrayal that she feels. But it's given her empathy for everyone stuck as submissive with no true autonomy. ]
But I had friends who helped me. And, I think of you as a friend.
His chest twists with a lot of things at once. Sympathy, sadness, guilt. He's not sure what exactly she means, but he understands the helplessness. He hadn't been thinking of her as a friend, really, not because she's not ... someone he could be, but because ...
This place has felt a little like he's back on Bracca, surrounded by potential enemies, with no idea who he could trust.
At least, at this point, he's certain she's not an enemy.
He finally looks at her, considers saying any of the things he's thinking, but ... doesn't. Instead, he looks back down to grab his tray, and stands. ]
[ Kate is ready, too. She pushes her tray across the table and takes Cal’s plate as well, setting it on the table. Selfishly, she leaves it there for staff to pick up; the sooner they can get out of here, the better.
Silently, they leave the mess hall for Kate’s pitched tent, where two backpacks were rolled up beside a purse. It isn’t until they are sitting inside that she finally breaks the awkward quiet with an awkward but necessary question. ]
So. Have you been with anyone since getting brought here?
[ When he'd first arrived, he'd told himself that if it ever got to a point when he couldn't keep putting it up, it would be fine. Only that happened faster than he thought, and now he's here, and it's ... not that fine, actually. ]
No. I was going to ... pretend like I could just avoid it.
[ Wait until he didn't have a choice anymore, just to see what would happen. And then this happened.
Every swallow reminds him how tight this collar is getting, and that-- Did they really think this would help? It just makes him anxious. Makes him think about things that definitely doesn't make him want to have sex with anyone. ]
I tried that, too. The consequences, though, back in the city; they’re much worse. I decided not to let it get that far.
[ She could say more, but she doesn’t want to add fuel to his fire. That can come later once he’s not desperate from strangulation. ]
We don’t have to go too far to get the collar loose. Just one person during this has to orgasm for it to count. That’s all. We can… We can figure out what you’re comfortable doing. Yeah?
[ His brow furrows slightly. Worse than strangulation? He's not so sure about that.
He takes a very slow deep breath, just to avoid feeling like the collar is constricting it, and straightens a little. ]
Yeah. I'm just-- I'm not sure where to start. I haven't been with anyone before Duplicity either, and it's not exactly something I've ever thought about.
[ She nods without judgment, settling her hands in her lap. ]
Okay. I’m… not sure where to start either. I can [ She falters for a moment trying to get her words out and offer a minimal solution, even if it’s a little mortifying. ] touch myself and you can watch. You don’t have to do anything…
[ If she'd been more nonchalant about it, he might have been okay with that. At the same time, though, he'll have to get it over with at some point, and he also wouldn't consider it fair to put make her uncomfortable just so that he doesn't have to be.
And, honestly, he's not sure he wouldn't be. ]
You don't have to do that. Look-- This collar is messing with me. Just give me a minute to ... calm down.
[ Essentially.
He really didn't expect it to be so difficult, so if he can just center himself ... It'll be fine. ]
Take your time. [ Sitting back on her heels, she offers a hand, palm up, on her knee for Cal. Only if he needs a lifeline. Otherwise, he can ignore it without guilt. Kate isn't going to mind. ]
[ He will ignore it, settling back on his own heels, hands in his lap, and closing his eyes. It's easy, in theory. Would be easier if any time he did this he wasn't painfully reminded of the absence of the Force. But it still works the same.
Feel that anxiousness, feel that fear, allow those flashes of memory of being Force choked-- Then let it go. He's fine. He's safe at this moment. He's not going to die.
It's closer to two minutes, but not longer than that before he opens his eyes, and takes another breath.
He can still breathe. It's all fine. ]
Okay. We can ... go? Just start how you usually start. I mean, I assume you've done this a few times now, so ... I trust you.
[ And she might not know how big that is, but he's surprised at how much he means that, with how little hesitation he says it. ]
[ Huh. Interesting. She waits patiently until his gray eyes open up and he offers Kate his trust. She'll try not to make him regret it. ]
Tell me to stop, and I'll stop. [ Then Kate is up on her knees just a few inches taller than Cal, shuffling closer. She settles on the young man's lap, but doesn't sit down quite yet. Instead her hands come to rest on the sides of his face, wondering now what? His pretty eyes make it kind of hard looking anywhere else.
She starts basic—Kate kisses him on the side of his nose, along the scattered freckles at his cheek as her hands disappear from his face and wind around his neck. ]
Feel free to touch me if you want... [ It might make things easier here if she had a little stimulation, a little sensation to get her body in the mood. It's not exactly the sexiest situation with Cal a little stiff and unsure under her, but this is survival. She'll figure it out. ]
[ Yeah, he wasn't about to let her do all the work or anything. His throat just suddenly feels very dry as soon as she moves in front of him, and it's a little difficult to focus through the sound of his own heart beating. Seriously, this is awful. Not her. She's fine, her touch is nice enough, her lips are soft, just--
Does LIES really think forcing people like this is going to make them like sex?
He takes a breath, tells himself that he doesn't need to overthink it, which immediately makes him do exactly that. Touch her where? Definitely above the belt, for now, but, uh, how? Okay. Okay.
After a couple of moments that were way more awkward than they needed to be, he puts his hands on her back, and slowly strokes upwards, towards her shoulders. ]
[ Okay, great. This is progress. She hums her approval, lips following down the side of his jaw. It's all peach fuzz, but Cal is still growing. Kate's sure that once he finds his confidence, he'll be a lady killer. Or, a man killer.
The arms around his neck fall down to his waist when she scoots closer, body flush against his chest. He's strong—stronger than she expected. He is solid under her hands as they roam over him, catching in the fabric of his camper uniform. She doesn't feel so bad now letting her weight sit fully in his lap; he can handle it. ]
Doing good? [ Her warm breath puffs over Cal's neck. Kate can feel his pulse jumping against her lips. ]
[ As soon as she presses herself right up against him, and her weight settles on his lap, there's-- something else. He's still stiff, but he suddenly becomes very aware of the shape of her against him, and the heat flooding his face, and how his skin pricks at the warmth of her breath.
He swallows, and starts running his hands back down, fingertips brushing over her spine. ]
[ It draws a shiver from Kate when his hands reach the small of her back. It's a nice thrill that drives her forward, clutching Cal a little tighter, thighs pressing in at his sides for some leverage. She rolls her hips into him, slowly at first, searching for the right touch, the right friction between her legs. ]
Cal. You're gonna have to touch me a little more...
[ He said he trusts her, and she hopes that's true, because he's going to have to help her out here. Taking hold of his wrists, Kate guides him up her waist to her breasts. Her hands, resting on top of his, gently squeeze to show him just what she wants. ]
[ Oh-- Her thighs clutching startles him, even more so when she follows it up with rocking against him like that. It's not entirely bad. Mostly not bad, actually, but he's not sure what to do with the heat that's starting to pool in his abdomen, rather than just his face.
The fact that she decides to direct him with her hands is very welcome, because he feels like he has no idea what to do. Not like he wants this to be miserable or anything. He takes a deep breath, and nods. ]
Okay.
[ Okay.
Her breasts are very soft, which he supposes makes sense. Not like he's ever thought much about what breasts might feel like it. He kind of marvels at it as he carefully squeezes his fingers, then tries stroking up a little, and back down. ]
[ She keeps her hands on top there to force him to be bolder, to cup her breasts together, squeeze a little harder until the fabric of her uniform catches on her hardening nipples. ]
Just like that... [ Kate focuses on the tingles of pleasure that travel through her body from those hands, like bubbles popping on the surface of champagne. And she's confident he's got it, heer own drop away from Cal and snake back around his neck. Gradually her eyes close to help her chase the sensation, her hips bucking faster on his lap. ]
[ As much as it feels a little strange, he's happy to have something to focus on. He'll just have to trust her to let him know if he ends up hurting her, as he starts firmly massaging her breasts.
It doesn't take all that long for him to wonder if that really is enough. So after a moment, he turns his head enough to press his lips to her temple. Maybe he's also trying to comfort himself, or her, trying to reassure that, really, he's fine. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bunchofscrewups) wrote2032-07-22 09:51 am
no subject
He hates this. ]
I, uh ...
[ Come on. Spit it out. ]
I need help with ... my collar.
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Of course. [ She tries to keep her voice even and sweet as she considers each word carefully. ] I'd... I'd like to help you.
I'm not contracted, though. I only have a tent. Is... that okay?
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He only nods at first, though the gesture is stiff and barely visible, then he clears his throat. ]
Yeah. It's fine.
[ And, honestly, he's kind of lost his appetite, but he picks his plate back up to at least have something to do. Still not looking at her. ]
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So. [ She speaks up again to hopefully cut the string of tension. ] Whenever you're ready, we can leave. No rush, though, Cal.
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He manages to get a few more bites of food in him, but when she speaks again, he decides to just give up. And he definitely drops the plate back down harder than he meant, flinches, and briefly looks around to see if anyone noticed.
Seems the noise of everyone else around drowned it out, though. ]
I can't believe they thought this was okay to do to people.
[ A pause, and he reconsiders. ]
No, scratch that. I wish I could do something about it.
[ He tilts his head back to look up at the ceiling, eyes fastening on one of the lights. It's hopeless, he knows. The Force isn't there. But he still turns a palm up towards the ceiling, and then squeezes to try to pull that light down.
Doesn't even budge. ]
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Me, too. [ Though her anger has long cooled down to a simmer over it. It's such an exhausting emotion. ] Before coming here, I wasn't in control of my body, or my mind, or my soul. It was... terrifying, and there was nothing I could do.
[ Only Kisa has any idea, but it's not something Kate ever brings up. There's still so much shame and betrayal that she feels. But it's given her empathy for everyone stuck as submissive with no true autonomy. ]
But I had friends who helped me. And, I think of you as a friend.
no subject
His chest twists with a lot of things at once. Sympathy, sadness, guilt. He's not sure what exactly she means, but he understands the helplessness. He hadn't been thinking of her as a friend, really, not because she's not ... someone he could be, but because ...
This place has felt a little like he's back on Bracca, surrounded by potential enemies, with no idea who he could trust.
At least, at this point, he's certain she's not an enemy.
He finally looks at her, considers saying any of the things he's thinking, but ... doesn't. Instead, he looks back down to grab his tray, and stands. ]
I'm ready.
no subject
Silently, they leave the mess hall for Kate’s pitched tent, where two backpacks were rolled up beside a purse. It isn’t until they are sitting inside that she finally breaks the awkward quiet with an awkward but necessary question. ]
So. Have you been with anyone since getting brought here?
no subject
No. I was going to ... pretend like I could just avoid it.
[ Wait until he didn't have a choice anymore, just to see what would happen. And then this happened.
Every swallow reminds him how tight this collar is getting, and that-- Did they really think this would help? It just makes him anxious. Makes him think about things that definitely doesn't make him want to have sex with anyone. ]
no subject
I tried that, too. The consequences, though, back in the city; they’re much worse. I decided not to let it get that far.
[ She could say more, but she doesn’t want to add fuel to his fire. That can come later once he’s not desperate from strangulation. ]
We don’t have to go too far to get the collar loose. Just one person during this has to orgasm for it to count. That’s all. We can… We can figure out what you’re comfortable doing. Yeah?
no subject
He takes a very slow deep breath, just to avoid feeling like the collar is constricting it, and straightens a little. ]
Yeah. I'm just-- I'm not sure where to start. I haven't been with anyone before Duplicity either, and it's not exactly something I've ever thought about.
[ Always had other things on his mind. ]
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Okay. I’m… not sure where to start either. I can [ She falters for a moment trying to get her words out and offer a minimal solution, even if it’s a little mortifying. ] touch myself and you can watch. You don’t have to do anything…
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And, honestly, he's not sure he wouldn't be. ]
You don't have to do that. Look-- This collar is messing with me. Just give me a minute to ... calm down.
[ Essentially.
He really didn't expect it to be so difficult, so if he can just center himself ... It'll be fine. ]
no subject
no subject
Feel that anxiousness, feel that fear, allow those flashes of memory of being Force choked-- Then let it go. He's fine. He's safe at this moment. He's not going to die.
It's closer to two minutes, but not longer than that before he opens his eyes, and takes another breath.
He can still breathe. It's all fine. ]
Okay. We can ... go? Just start how you usually start. I mean, I assume you've done this a few times now, so ... I trust you.
[ And she might not know how big that is, but he's surprised at how much he means that, with how little hesitation he says it. ]
no subject
Tell me to stop, and I'll stop. [ Then Kate is up on her knees just a few inches taller than Cal, shuffling closer. She settles on the young man's lap, but doesn't sit down quite yet. Instead her hands come to rest on the sides of his face, wondering now what? His pretty eyes make it kind of hard looking anywhere else.
She starts basic—Kate kisses him on the side of his nose, along the scattered freckles at his cheek as her hands disappear from his face and wind around his neck. ]
Feel free to touch me if you want... [ It might make things easier here if she had a little stimulation, a little sensation to get her body in the mood. It's not exactly the sexiest situation with Cal a little stiff and unsure under her, but this is survival. She'll figure it out. ]
no subject
Does LIES really think forcing people like this is going to make them like sex?
He takes a breath, tells himself that he doesn't need to overthink it, which immediately makes him do exactly that. Touch her where? Definitely above the belt, for now, but, uh, how? Okay. Okay.
After a couple of moments that were way more awkward than they needed to be, he puts his hands on her back, and slowly strokes upwards, towards her shoulders. ]
no subject
The arms around his neck fall down to his waist when she scoots closer, body flush against his chest. He's strong—stronger than she expected. He is solid under her hands as they roam over him, catching in the fabric of his camper uniform. She doesn't feel so bad now letting her weight sit fully in his lap; he can handle it. ]
Doing good? [ Her warm breath puffs over Cal's neck. Kate can feel his pulse jumping against her lips. ]
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He swallows, and starts running his hands back down, fingertips brushing over her spine. ]
Yeah.
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Cal. You're gonna have to touch me a little more...
[ He said he trusts her, and she hopes that's true, because he's going to have to help her out here. Taking hold of his wrists, Kate guides him up her waist to her breasts. Her hands, resting on top of his, gently squeeze to show him just what she wants. ]
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The fact that she decides to direct him with her hands is very welcome, because he feels like he has no idea what to do. Not like he wants this to be miserable or anything. He takes a deep breath, and nods. ]
Okay.
[ Okay.
Her breasts are very soft, which he supposes makes sense. Not like he's ever thought much about what breasts might feel like it. He kind of marvels at it as he carefully squeezes his fingers, then tries stroking up a little, and back down. ]
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Just like that... [ Kate focuses on the tingles of pleasure that travel through her body from those hands, like bubbles popping on the surface of champagne. And she's confident he's got it, heer own drop away from Cal and snake back around his neck. Gradually her eyes close to help her chase the sensation, her hips bucking faster on his lap. ]
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It doesn't take all that long for him to wonder if that really is enough. So after a moment, he turns his head enough to press his lips to her temple. Maybe he's also trying to comfort himself, or her, trying to reassure that, really, he's fine. ]